Tag Archives: fuel

A Case for Reverting the US to a Hemp-based Economy

Dear Americans, statespersons, and citizens of the world,

Hemp (Cannabis sativa) can be used for nearly everything currently utilized in our society: from food, to clothing, to paper, to textiles and housing materials, to plastics, to graphene and hence nanotechnology, as well as providing fuel for automobiles and power centers. It is without doubt the most versatile natural resource available on the planet and bears negligible, nearly untraceable amounts of THC (>.3%) and is purposefully bred industrially to keep that psychotropic chemical low.

This proposal calls for a complete legal reform pertaining to industrial hemp; (optimally) to include governmental subsidy to industrialists for the building of processing centers in agricultural areas (this would help to keep energy of production low); and to farmers (regulated by a governing body), growing purposefully diversified strains of hemp (as some strains of hemp are good for fuel, others are good for food, and still others for fiber – farmers would then be partially constrained based on what processing center or centers opened near them [It is preferential, of course, to have every sort of processing plant within a near proximity of the fields, as this would allow each region to become more self-sufficient]) to provide the individual communities that comprise the United States the security they so greatly need and deserve; and to help facilitate a cultural shift in consciousness about hemp and its consumer consumption.

Whatever Made Humanity also gave us a plant that will do everything that we need, but we have villainized it, for greed and Industry and misunderstanding. But we cannot bow any longer to the corruption of capitalism and corporate self-interest, or to ignorance. The status quo can no longer stand – there has been too much damage to the environment for the sake of fiscal gluttony and it will kill us all, fat cats and paupers alike, unless we act radically as immediately as possible.

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Crustaceans to Cure Fuel Woes?

Don’t Kill It! It’s Poop is Worth More Than Gold!

Gribbles, via BBC

Crustaceans, probably better with butter, but still not great considering they poop (cheap) wood-grain alcohol.

Not-so-breaking news on Popular Science and around the web: the University of York released their research, indicating that the Gribble (pictured above), a wood-eating crustacean historically thought of as a parasite to wooden ships, may be an answer to the world’s impending fuel crisis. The Gribble’s internal juices can breakdown wood into sugars that are excellent for fermentation into wood-grain alcohol, which could replace petroleum-based fuel sometime in the next twenty-years, if the Energy Barons feel they can profit off Isopod Poop.

Personally, I’m still a big fan of the Mushroom Rape fuel-source, and I think those fat cats would be too – forced fungal sex is the fuel wave of the future in that it combines our love of playing God with a deep sense of schadenfreude. Besides, one would still need to feed these little guys, and since what they eat is wood, environmentalists would still have a problem with filling their cars up with Gribble Premium, particularly when you consider that one of the proposed solutions is genetically engineered trees that grow quickly. What environmentalists fail to realize is that humans have been genetically modifying foods since the advent of agriculture: take carrots, for example, and how they’ve been bred to be less bitter, sweeter, without a woody center, and not purple.

In a WTF moment in doing this research, I found that the University of York released their findings on the potential for Gribbles as a fuel source online on the 27th of January LAST YEAR, so why it’s only coming out now, I’m not really sure; I think it has something to do with the fact that we’re talking about fueling our society with crustacean shit.

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