This week’s Time Waste is inspired by a four-year-old allegation that Al Gore sexually molested a masseuse at a posh Portland, Oregon hotel (they have those), People reports. Not exactly the smooth player, the unnamed 54-year-old woman is claiming that Gore “…pleaded, groped me, grabbed me, engulfed me in embrace, tongue kissed me, massaged me, grabbed my breasts.” And here I thought he was just a block of wood; nope, turns out he has some personality after all – just not the kind that would get you elected president (unless you’re Bill Clinton).
This whole incident could have been avoided had Gore just stuck to his usual script and said, “You seem to have caused some global warming…in my pants.” But nope, turns out the guy’s a prick. I hope he goes to jail for this – because A) he’s a douche, and B) because perhaps being in prison will, firstly, allow him to experience the trauma he inflicted on this woman first-hand, and secondly, perhaps it’ll inspire another Academy Award winning documentary? Hollywood likes rapists, after all, right?