Due to Lindsey Lohan’s failure to appear at her court date (she had better things to do, like be at the Cannes Festival….Wait, what? Why? She hasn’t been in a movie worth seeing in four years) she has been outfitted with one of these:
That there’s called a SCRAM (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring) and it measures the alcohol content of perspiration every half hour. However, it only uploads its measurements to the police department once a day, according to the Associated Press, so it’s not really a deterrent, from say, drunk driving, it merely keeps a record of inebriation: not intoxication, which to my understanding is more of an issue for the redheaded lass. So Lohan will probably still be abusing substances and being generally irresponsible. Celebrities get a carte blanche pass in the court of law as it is, so I don’t know what this is going to accomplish beyond my pissy blog entry.
At least I can obtain some joy in the idea that Lohan is running around all melodramatic at the “injustice” of it all. She’ll probably console herself with a vodka martini or five. So long as she stays out from behind the wheel, she can do whatever she wants to her internal organs as far as I’m concerned.
I’ll drink to that.