Missing Links: Cracked Edition

I don’t know if you know this about me, but I positively love Cracked.com. They’ve got great stories on science, technology, and human conditioning, pinched between genuine research and an array of dick jokes. This makes me giggle, and partially inspired this website. So, for your consideration, I add the links I like best perusing the halls of this comedy brilliance.

  1. Want to know how we got to the top of the food chain? Why we’re mostly hairless and why on most nights you’re floating in a haze of your own beer belches? Find out the Six Character Flaws That Saved Our Species.
  2. Human beings used to have to fight gigantic animals in order to stay alive. Here are some of the more vicious ones changed by evolution. You won’t believe what possums, pigs, and goats used to come from, all in 6 Formerly Kickass Creatures Ruined by Evolution.
  3. We’ve come a long way since finding fire. I am extremely excited for the level of tech we live in now – the breadth of information at our fingertips on device screens 3 inches thick astounds me every day. But it has nothing on the future, when armor strengthens itself each time a bullet strikes it and carbon nanotubes are built into everything we own.
  4. Why Nikola Tesla rocks and why Edison sucks balls – electrically charged removable ones.
  5. Cracked also does links pages. Here’s theirs for February 2010. February Top Picks.
  6. Australia wants to kill you. Also Brazil and Columbia, and some other places in the world, which keeps making deadly animals that can fit in your shoe.
  7. Think you got it bad? At least you don’t have a parasite that eats your tongue, or makes you commit suicide, or make you female. My favorite here is number one, the Jewel Wasp – check out what it does to cockroaches.
  8. The 13 most overlooked celebrity deaths of 2009. Khan, particularly brought a tear to my eye; did you know Ricardo Montalban was no more?
  9. How terrible lifestyle choices can actually save your life. Come for the oversized breast implants, stay for the woman so fat that she defeated the Flesh Eating Virus by wearing it out.
  10. Thankfully, Hollywood knows better than to do everything in gritty reboot. Just as thankfully, Cracked and its readers disregard that and go for the gold on this Photoshop contest. Cheers and Magoo crack me up, personally.

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