Nerd Blurbs: Evolution Edition

4,000-Year-Old Bear-Man’s Genes Decoded

Paleo-Eskimo - that's what she said.

Artists' depiction of Bear-Man less bear-like than previously hoped.

While only eight living people’s genomes have been decoded, lazy scientists have taken a break from helping living people to take a look into the past and have decoded the entire genetic structure of a man, affectionately named “Inuk,” who lived 4,000-years-ago. Inuk’s hair was so thick they originally thought it was a bear’s, hence the title of our article. The New York Times’ perspective on the issue is a little less light-hearted, sighting facts and figures, like how Inuk’s tribe, what archaeologists are calling “Saqqaq” for seemingly arbitrary reasons, split off 5,500 years ago from the Chukchi tribe of Siberia and seemed to have migrated over the continental bridge into Greenland. You know, boring stuff, and arbitrary. If they wanted to map ancient DNA, they could have gotten a sample off Brendan Fraser and called it a day.

I mean scientists are really going off the handle on this stuff, being able to determine from the hair samples that Inuk had a risk of baldness and that his earwax was probably dry. Way to go, science: while you’ve been figuring that out, 5,500 people have died of AIDS.

Google Wants You!…To Download Porn 100x Faster

How Fast? This fast

Fast like this except without the horse or the gladiator.

Google announced today in their corporate blog, according to the New York Times, that they intend to foray into the realm of Internet Service Provider…y and are currently querying communities to see if they want a high-speed fiber optic network that would allow them to download digital goodness off the Intertubes at 100x times current rate. When asked for comment, nerds in the community said, “Gimmegimmegimme!” Google intends to use the network for good: to see what this kind of connection will do for the next generation of apps; how to create a fiber optic network in the most efficient and least-costly way, and then sharing the information with the world; and Google will actually open their networks to other ISPs, allowing for an “‘open access’ network” in accordance with their net-neutrality position, which in economics is officially termed “fucking crazy.”

If you are a city official, or are currently (not like currently, while reading this) doing a city official, show them this video and get your community into the future quick.

Google Unsatisfied With Global Domination, Seeks Social Networking Domination Too

If that tagline weren’t enough to convey what I mean, here, watch this video:

You mean no longer will I have to waste time telling people about the funny video I saw, or take the time to shorten the link and put it in my Twitter, or to actually send someone to a website with a funny picture – now I can do it all from the comfort of Gmail? Google Buzz is the greatest thing since Google Wave (there was actually going to be a joke there, but Google took over this blog in the middle of the post, so nothing but exultation* for Google from here on out)!

6 Rounds on Google Wave

Google Maps on Google Wave

Auto-Translate with Rosy on Google Wave

*Right, because I haven’t been kissing Google’s ass enough beforehand? And while I’m not actually in Google’s pocket, I would be more than happy to be for the cost of a Nexus One and the price of phone service, you know G-, if you’re listenin’?

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1 Comment

Filed under Celebrities, News, Science, Technology

One response to “Nerd Blurbs: Evolution Edition

  1. Pingback: Apple May Own the Tech, but Cisco Still Owns “iPhone.” « Worlds As Myth

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