Nerd Blurbs: Apple Edition

iPad: It Wants You To Touch It


The iPad? Really? Excuse me while I scratch my iBag.

The big news has finally broke, Steve Jobs finally held that fabled press conference to release the iPad. It does precisely what everyone thought it would do, connect to the Internet via WiFi and eventually 3G, be multi-touch, and function much like an iPhone. Except bigger. And you can’t stow it away in your pocket or make calls on it. It also doesn’t have a camera (peripheral sold separately, much like the keyboard dock and/or the wireless keyboard).It also has a maximum altitude usage of 10,000 feet, so parts of Denver, CO are screwed.

But Apple is getting into direct competition with Amazon, having a free downloadable app called iBooks. There you can buy open ePub format books (Kindle uses a proprietary version), which store in your library after you’ve read them. Or, if you’re like me and live in a metropolitan city, you can download them free for upwards of 21 days from your local library. It’ll be a cinch on this device.

Do I plan to get one? Absolutely, as soon as it’s been out for a year or so. Firstly, I’m going to wait for the kinks to get worked out. Undoubtedly, within six to eight months they’re will be a next gen version, and it’ll probably have a camera. It would also be stellar (though not likely) if Apple set up a USB port or a MicroSD card reader (even as a peripheral) so that memory would be expandable to external hard drives, thumb drive, and flash drives. It cuts down the price because you don’t have to buy the ones with more GBs ($499/$629 for 16GB{WiFi/+3G}, $599/$729  for 32GB, $699/$829 for 64GB) so it would put an iPad in more peoples’ hands. Apple’s goal should be for everyone to have one and for it to be the primary usage of computing for most people.

Imagine a world where everyone and their mother had this device (plus the suggested video/memory support). You carry with you an iPad and a 1tb external hard-drive that syncs through USB 3.0. You no longer have a phone because you can talk to anyone through Skype over your AT&T 3G network (camera on optional, talk facilitated through Bluetooth headsets). Everyone has iWorks, which will save to a PDF format, so professors can hand out their itinerary and book list through their website, where they can also accept written papers: the books you reference in your paper hyperlink to the library’s webpage where you got them. Hook up your hard drive and watch whatever movie or tv show you’ve ever bought. The sky’s truly the limit.

You’ve got step one on supreme global domination, Apple, don’t puss out on me now.

How Acquisitions Got Apple its Groove Back

1GHZ A4 Apple Processor

It has more memory than your stoned compatriots.

In 2008 Apple acquired a processor development firm called P.A. Sim, a group that lead the development of the StrongARM processor used in some personal assistant devices. After the StrongARM development, P.A. Sims leaned toward creation of system-on-a-chip processors, which garnered Apple’s attention, drawing them to create the A4 processor which will be housed in the iPad. Essentially, all the processes that happen in a 1GHz computer are now done in that little, bitty chip. Isn’t technology grand?

Exact specification on the processing power of the chip are slim at best, but as the PC Magazine article points out, multi-tasking is not within its parameters. As technology develops and Apple wises up on what it could be capable of doing (see above), look for more functionality to come its way, making Apple a hands-down leader in digital computing.

Nokia Sics US International Trade Commission on Apple

Nokia Scary-looking, bulky mother fucker

Nokia makes useful, cutting-edge devices, like this affront to nature.

Nokia, the Finnish electronics company, which has never released a cutting-edge technology before anyone else, is looking to sue Apple over claims that the iPhone maker had stolen patents for “10…technologies [including]…wireless data transfer, a key factor in the success of iPhone [as well as]… speech coding, security and encryption…since the iPhone was introduced in 2007.” Apple counter-suited, claiming Nokia had stolen 13 patents from it.

Now, apparently, the U.S. International Trade Commission (we have one of those?) has agreed to investigate Nokia’s claims. Despite having a government website, the USITC is in fact “an independent, quasi-judicial federal agency that determines the impact of imports on U.S. industries and directs actions against certain unfair trade practices, such as patent, trademark,and copyright infringement,” according to the Information Week article. So what you’re basically saying is that they don’t have the right, nor the power to actually do anything in regards to this case, right?

Another lawsuit has been leveled against Apple, by Kodak, for infringement in regards to digital cameras and computing technology. Set to investigate that lawsuit is the governmental non-entity, The Department for Useless Investigations.



Filed under Celebrities, Literary, News, Technology

11 responses to “Nerd Blurbs: Apple Edition

  1. Pingback: Scumbag Style » “Hot Dog Baby and The Coat Hanger Douches” Should Be a Band

  2. Nice post.
    I don’t think I will buy an Ipad : it’s very ugly, and no camera, no flash…

    • Thanks John. I don’t agree on the ugly factor (a slab of electronics is always beautiful in my eyes – unless it’s made by Nokia), but I do agree that the camera and Flash support are a big issue. I’m sure the Flash thing will be resolved, at least through an app, shortly after the thing comes out, and the iPad Part Deux will probably have a camera. In fact, with the camera peripheral and the right app, you might even be able to Skype on the iPad.

  3. I am entirely looking to checkout the iPad from Apple, and I am amazed to see what kinds of appz and games will be created for it. I just don’t get the hang of some of the nitpicky criticisms in this site. Size of the bezel?? LOL!

    • True, Rich, some criticisms are people just complaining for the sake of complaining. Apple is helping to launch a whole new standard in computing, and it’s an exciting time to be nerd.

      Thanks for the comment!

  4. Apple’s a company I’ve enjoyed for some time, they produce products that is aesthetically gorgeous while working like a each and every time. That can’t be said about alot of companies, it’s usually one or the other. Tech companies don’t usually take aesthetics seriously like Apple. With that said I’ve got to say that I’m very excited about the new iSlate. One thing I question though, is it too soon? I’m afraid that this may be ahead of our time. What do you think?

    • Hey, Frank was it?

      No, I don’t think that the tablet is ahead of our time, in fact, if anything, it seems long overdue. Apple’s been working on this technology for the past decade, and it wasn’t until the creation of the system-on-a-chip processor, and the development of the A4 chip that allowed it to happen. Sci-fi has tauted the tablet for a long time: Ender’s Game‘s a prime example. More than that, the computing power for these things needs to increase to allow longer usage and for multiple programs to be open at the same time, but that change is coming surely, a day when I’ll be glad to own a tablet computer.

  5. What The H*ll is this iPad?!?! Its only a fatter version of iPhone. Apple start loosing their magic.

  6. Thanks for the tip, Keep up the great work.

  7. Highly useful website. Wish it will continually be alive!

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