Worlds As Myth Didn’t Have SAG in the Bag

Some of you might remember that last month I posted my guesses toward the SAG Awards, and the awards were last night, and holy cow was I way off. Out of thirteen categories to take wild stabs in the dark from and I only predicted one accurately. Let’s take a look at the actual winners, shall we?

  • Male Actor in a Drama, got a call from me for Jon Hamm, who’s been snubbed for his Mad Men character for years now. The award went to Michael C. Hall, for his role as the lead on Dexter. Far be it from my non-TV-watching ass to speak-wise one way or another, but Hamm’s been robbed.
  • Female Actor in a Drama was where I got it right – the award did in fact go to Julianna Marguiles, for her role as a lawyer in The Good Wife. This ends my esteem as a television analyst, but will embolden me to make future predictions as well. Stay tuned for next year’s Nobel Prizes!
  • Ensemble in a Drama I had called for Dexter. Turns out the Screen Actor’s Guild have different ideas than me and gave it to Mad Men. Clearly they got my article confused and went backwards on this award with the Best Male Actor in a Drama. If only they’d read closer.
  • Female Actor in a Comedy went to Tina Fey, again, and not to my prediction of Christina Applegate. So much for those soft-hearted, liberal guild members, the callous a-holes. Anyway, congratulations, Tina!
  • Male Actor in a Comedy did not go to Tony Shaloub, despite that his USA Network show, Monk, will no longer be eligible for an award, considering it ran its series finale. Perhaps there are too many OCD patients in the guild who didn’t find the show and/or the performance particularly humorous. The award, like usual, went to Alec Baldwin. Maybe it’s that the guild’s afraid of change or that Baldwin will call them all “rude, thoughtless pigs?”
  • Ensemble in a Comedy I had thought would go to 30 Rock, to keep with tradition, and because I didn’t believe Fey and Baldwin would get it AGAIN for the love of Pete! Anyway, the award went to Glee, which I hear is funny, but couldn’t bring myself to watch despite already watching SYTYCD before it came on Wednesday.
  • Male Actor in a TV Movie/Miniseries was one of the biggest stab in the dark I had to offer. I seriously didn’t know. I was hoping Tom Wilkinson, because he’s awesome and had been snubbed before. It went to Kevin Bacon. At least with John Lithgow at the awards they could have had a Footloose reunion. But they didn’t. Way to drop the ball, SAG.
  • Female Actor in a TV Movie/Miniseries was the other big wild shoulder shrug. I’d guessed Sigourney Weaver, mostly because I like spelling her name. The award went to Drew Barrymore, continuing that Barrymore tradition of disappointing other people at awards shows.
  • Male Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture went to Christop Waltz of Inglorious Basterds, which I have mixed feelings about. Waltz won best actor at Cannes, all of which is disconcerting considering he played a Nazi even Goebels would have thought had gone too far. This is also disappointing because Christopher Plummer, who I predicted, is as awesome as Tom Wilkinson (if not moreso), and deserves an award. There’s also next year (so long as the ticker keeps tocking).
  • For Female Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture, the guild did go to trend, not giving the award to Vera Farmiga as I’d guessed at, with Mo’Nique taking home the little man. Supposedly (according to the gnomes that live in my head), her award has been slightly revised – instead of the two masks, hers holds two razors.
  • Male Actor Leading Role in a Motion Picture was undecided for me – either Morgan Freeman or George Clooney were my picks. Apparently the guild prefers to give the awards to movies you’ve never heard of and went with Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart, which IMDB says is about a country singer who’s had too many wives, too many drinks, and a heart of gold.

  • Female Actor Leading Role in a Motion Picture I totally thought was going to Meryl Streep. People love her – her rendition of Julia Childs was spot on. Seems that the guild is getting tired of her because the award went to Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side, which has to do about more folks with hearts of gold. Way to play to type, SAG.

  • Cast in a Motion Picture was the last on our list, which we’d predicted would go to Nine, which I didn’t actually know had been released already. I know, I rock at keeping up with the times. Anyway, the award went to Inglorious Basterds, an absolute win for WWII revisionist history – except, in like, a good way.

There you have it folks, further proof that I have no say in the way other people vote. Stay tuned next time when we inaccurately predict the outcome of the Oscars!


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Filed under Celebrities, Movies, Moving Pictures

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