Aliens? Wormhole? Nope. Russians Trying to Assassinate Obama?


This Was Seen Over Northern Norway, Wednesday

 The Associated Press reports that the mysterious blue lights that appeared Wednesday over Norway, were in fact caused by a malfunctioning Russian missile, by name of the Bulava, which is apparently a new intercontinental ballistic missile that the Russian military is developing. The thing can apparently maneuver against anti-missile countermeasures, has countermeasures and decoys of its own, and has shielding against both physical and EMP damage. The only thing it can’t do is hit its target.

Which brings up an interesting question, which Scumbag Style posts a hypothesis to, namely: what was the target? The Scumbag-in-Chief was the one who noticed that the Nobel Prizes are being handed out and that the missile’s failure corresponds with President Obama’s itinerary in receiving the Peace Prize. Is it possible that the Russians were targetting Oslo and their equipment just sucks?

Well, let’s look at the facts. A brand-spanking new submarine stationed in the White Sea fired a “test shot” on an intercontintental missile, which passed over Finland and Sweden in order to get to Norway. The New York Times, by way of Reuters indicates that a crime might have occurred, but breaching the air-space of two other sovereign nations, and potentially trying to assassinate the President of the United States and most of the world’s most brilliant minds isn’t on their list. Apparently, the fact that this is the Bulava’s 13th test and its 6th or 7th failure is enough to stop them from jumping to conclusions.

But why now? For what possible reason was the missile aimed over Norway? Why haven’t there been previous reports of the sort of light-show that came with the most recent failure?


1 Comment

Filed under Celebrities, Science, Technology

One response to “Aliens? Wormhole? Nope. Russians Trying to Assassinate Obama?

  1. Pingback: Scumbag Style » World Shocked That Russians Are Scumbags

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