Being writers, and fond of other writers, my associates and I intended to go see The Road today, only to find out that it is unavailable in our metropolitan area. This confused us, and filled us with rage, which magnified significantly when it was revealed why its failed appearance in our local movie theaters this week. Apparently, a week-old vampire-werewolf debacle, which doesn’t feature good actors, like these, is the culprit. Supposedly, theaters are doing so well on the teenage fantasy that they’re not importing Oscar-caliber features to stink-up their sales.
No, Cormac McCarthy’s modern classic of the same name is not your feel-good romp through suppressed hormones and vampiric betrayal that Twilight probably is, but damn it, how am I supposed to learn how to survive the fall of civilization without seeing this movie in theaters? By the time it comes out on DVD, it might be too late. We already barely bit the bullet when the LHC was fired up this week, how can they deny Las Vegas’ need for survival?
Frankly, I don’t think the government cares about this town, by allowing such a travesty to occur in an American city. This is worse than the breadlines in communist Russia. You mean I’m going to have to settle for Old Dogs (Starring Robin Williams, John Travolta, and everyone’s favorite, Seth Green)? Or this nonsense?
Actually, my esteemed colleague informs me that the movie is in limited release this weekend, and that it will open to a broader audience next week. Despite my display of internet rage now having been proven to be entirely inappropriate, I must admit I’m still somewhat miffed. This film has been delayed for over a year now, and this half-hearted release is actually disappointing. Jeez guys, you’re already pushing the envelope on getting it out there before the Oscars – make with the andale and get this sucker out there, no?