Large Hardon Collider Operational (No, That’s Not A Typo)

The reason for the abnormality in spelling of said collider, is that the largest thing built ever, the Large Hadron Collider has been tested and is deemed working, and the science community is practically jizzing themselves just talking about it. Everyone from the BBC to the New York Times to Al-Jazeera to Scumbag Style have reported on this thing, which is meant to recreate the Big Bang and definitively prove the existence of the elusive Higgs-boson.

Said Professor Peter Higgs, the scientist whom the theoretical particle is named after, in regards to the costly delays when the LHC was fired up fourteen months ago, to the Irish Times:

“I am relieved . . . It has really been delayed,” and in stating the obvious even further, “I know they are going to be very cautious to avoid any problems so I am keeping my fingers crossed that there isn’t going to be any more accidents.”

The delays were caused by an electrical fault that dumped liquid helium into the tunnel only nine days after the system first went online in September of last year. Now the problems have been fixed, new equipment and software has been installed, and the system was fired up on Friday, to much celebration from the staff who worked over-time getting the system ready.

Now, the Large Hadron Collider might be involved with finding the Higgs boson and Strange Matter, but according to The Register that’s not all they’re looking for. At least Director for Research and Scientific Computing at CERN, Sergio Bertolucci, seems to think that the collision might open an extra-dimensional portal, which from “Out of this door might come something, or we might send something through it.” Talk about a geek hard-on; this is the stuff of science fiction, man!

Granted, the portal would only be open for “a very tiny lapse of time, 10 (to the -26 power) seconds, [but] during that infinitesimal amount of time we would be able to peer into this open door, either by getting something out of it or sending something into it.” What could possibly be lurking for us beyond the scope of space and time? What could perchance make the leap into our dimension? Probably something from our deepest, darkest fears, which lurks in the pits of despair.

In On It.

Yep...Probably Something Just Like That.


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